So the other week I was just not feeling all to hot. Wasn't sure why but I was just exhausted and wanting to lay down all day. And it was just kind of hard because Tom's dad and step-mother were in town but I really wanted nothing to do with anyone. So I felt guilty like I was ignoring them when I really didn't know what was going on.
What ended up happening was that my Hemoglobin was down to a 4.4 Guess it's supposed to be around a 12, but mine is usually around 9 something anyways, but I ended up getting admitted into the hospital and getting 6 units of blood and 4 units of plasma. I was in there from Wednesday until Saturday. And still coming out with no results really and no answers. The only thing I know is that I will have to see a dr. to get my blood work about every 2 wks. And they can administrate the correct dosage of whatever it is I need for the most part right there and then. So money going out and me just continuing to be sick.
Well, to keep this post short. I'm still feeling as crappy as I did a week ago with no answers and I have a thousand and one things to do. I know I really have to get over that a yr ago my life was different and now I have to handle what I have now.. just hard most of times.
Sunday, January 13, 2013
Christmas
So I thought Christmas would be a bit easier then it is going this year.
One I miss my family. I know that practically everyone is back home and laughing playing games and here I'm stuck with Tom's side of the family who are all boring boring boring!!! Oh and to say the least Matt and his wife are having issues that I don't understand and haven't asked either, but I figure if they wanted me to truly know then they'd of told me. So kinda stuck in the middle with really no idea what's going on.
So today, I planned on cooking my low sodium chili. It actually sounded good, and then because I didn't eat breakfast or my snack I made lunch early and when it got done and I tried it it was YUMMY! Only to find out that I really didn't care for it after a few bites. How does that happen???
Then making the chili for everyone else, I thought I should try this before it's too late to change it, and go frickin figure.. it's so damn good. Actually just the tomatoes, in which I really don't care for tomatoes either. Ah.. blah blah blah.. had some of that when I shouldn't of. Then ate some potato chips that I make.. again not something I should eat.
And here we go for the grande finally. Well, I'm really not in the mood to deal with Tom's family. They are really starting to annoy me and I would rather not be around them. Plus too it doesn't help because I have like this obligation to myself to be 100% honest which I'm not thinking is a good look on me right now.. ah. So I'm thinking that they will be leaving after dinner like they had in the past, but long and behold.. nope they want to stay for the opening of our gifts to the kids. It just bothered me because it's like his mom has known first that this is something that I like to do just with my family (Tom and the boys) and second she had the nerve to comment to my sister-in-law that we do things different because the kids open the gifts on xmas eve. Um.. oh well! Not your life, move on!
So to say the least.. I didn't do well today. And I'm already preparing to not do well tomorrow. Which completely sucks. I mean I know it should be an easy thing to say not I'm starting over it'll be fine, but not with this head screwed on my body. Once a decision that Ed has made it's pretty much a go. Problem is is I wish I could act out on Ed, then I wouldn't be as stressed out about it.
I haven't heard anything back from the hospital to go in and get tests done, which I'm really okay with. I'm still in this pretend world of that it's not really happening. I plus too still have to set up some doctors appts beforehand and which I should have probably already well at least have them scheduled if not already been to, my bad.. what can I say other then I hate dr. and I hate taking out of my time to pay for crap that isn't necessary. (does that make sure .. not really sure when I say it out loud but in my head it makes complete sense!)
One I miss my family. I know that practically everyone is back home and laughing playing games and here I'm stuck with Tom's side of the family who are all boring boring boring!!! Oh and to say the least Matt and his wife are having issues that I don't understand and haven't asked either, but I figure if they wanted me to truly know then they'd of told me. So kinda stuck in the middle with really no idea what's going on.
So today, I planned on cooking my low sodium chili. It actually sounded good, and then because I didn't eat breakfast or my snack I made lunch early and when it got done and I tried it it was YUMMY! Only to find out that I really didn't care for it after a few bites. How does that happen???
Then making the chili for everyone else, I thought I should try this before it's too late to change it, and go frickin figure.. it's so damn good. Actually just the tomatoes, in which I really don't care for tomatoes either. Ah.. blah blah blah.. had some of that when I shouldn't of. Then ate some potato chips that I make.. again not something I should eat.
And here we go for the grande finally. Well, I'm really not in the mood to deal with Tom's family. They are really starting to annoy me and I would rather not be around them. Plus too it doesn't help because I have like this obligation to myself to be 100% honest which I'm not thinking is a good look on me right now.. ah. So I'm thinking that they will be leaving after dinner like they had in the past, but long and behold.. nope they want to stay for the opening of our gifts to the kids. It just bothered me because it's like his mom has known first that this is something that I like to do just with my family (Tom and the boys) and second she had the nerve to comment to my sister-in-law that we do things different because the kids open the gifts on xmas eve. Um.. oh well! Not your life, move on!
So to say the least.. I didn't do well today. And I'm already preparing to not do well tomorrow. Which completely sucks. I mean I know it should be an easy thing to say not I'm starting over it'll be fine, but not with this head screwed on my body. Once a decision that Ed has made it's pretty much a go. Problem is is I wish I could act out on Ed, then I wouldn't be as stressed out about it.
I haven't heard anything back from the hospital to go in and get tests done, which I'm really okay with. I'm still in this pretend world of that it's not really happening. I plus too still have to set up some doctors appts beforehand and which I should have probably already well at least have them scheduled if not already been to, my bad.. what can I say other then I hate dr. and I hate taking out of my time to pay for crap that isn't necessary. (does that make sure .. not really sure when I say it out loud but in my head it makes complete sense!)
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